Sometimes for these reviews, we have the singular privilege of going way back in time to examine some of the vintage porn classics of yesteryear.
Today is one of those times, as we travel back to the age of hair metal and hairy bush: 1989. That’s right; it’s time for a review of Rock N Roll Heaven!
It doesn’t get more late 80s than this. With Guns-N’-Roses-style performances on the stage and outrageously-haired people fucking off it, watching Rock N’ Roll Heaven is a trip down memory lane.
Unless you’re still in your twenties/early thirties, in which case you have no memory of the late 80s and need to get the fuck off my lawn.
That unbidden vitriol now put aside, let’s get to reviewing Rock N’ Roll Heaven.
Rock N’ Roll Heaven: Overview
- Release date: 1989
- Directed by: John Stagliano
- Starring: Alex Horn, Brandy Alexandre, Alex Taylor, Fifi Bardot, Gene Carrera, Jeannie Pepper, Jesse Adams, Jessica, Keisha, Randy James, Randy Spears, Renee Morgan, Sasha Strange, Sharon Kane, Stacy Lords, Tom Byron, Woop
- Runtime: 1:31:24
Rock N’ Roll Heaven: Plot
Rock N’ Roll Heaven is almost a documentary for its time, but with lots more fucking. It’s centered around the Sunset Strip in Hollywood, and the proliferation of tight spandex, too much hairspray, and sometimes having trouble telling who the guys and who the girls are (hint: moustaches are helpful in this regard).
Up-and-coming rock star Rex is rocking the clubs of Sunset Strip and channeling his inner Axel Rose hard (check out his bandana and sleeveless black band T-shirt).
He’s also doing groupies pretty hard; no sooner has he stepped offstage than he’s got girls clamoring to suck him off.
Sometimes, in fact, he doesn’t even make it offstage before he’s getting mobbed. Sometimes it’s not just him enjoying the fruit of his labors; there are plenty of dudes in the crowd who end up fucking these sex-crazed girls on the spot.
It’s not too long before Rex’s shows turn into the last days of Rome. There’s open fucking and blowing going on everywhere, and it’s basically an orgy with a backdrop of 80s soft rock – where the music is the only thing that’s soft, if you know what I mean (because of all the cocks).
Is It Worth Watching?
If nothing else, Rock N’ Roll Heaven is worth a watch simply because it’s a product of its time, and is a fascinating throwback to the ridiculous hair (facial or otherwise) of the era.
Its cast also features some of the hottest female performers of the late 80s. Keisha, Jeannie Piper, Cheri Taylor and Sharon Kane were all legends of the 80s porn scene, and since they’re all retired at this stage (unless someone’s pressed them into service for GILFs On Tour), it’s only in movies like Rock N’ Roll Heaven that you get to see what they’re made of.
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All in all, it’s definitely worth a watch. It’s pretty tame by modern standards, but it’s always worth looking back to see what was getting dad’s engine revving on bootleg VHS.
