As you might expect, as a master peruser of porn I wind up looking at some truly weird shit. For science, you understand.
It’s for this reason that I find myself checking out truly bizarre shit like sissy hypno porn, hentai games and – the absolute lowest of the low – fucking furry porn.
Which brings me to the latest weird shit that you fuckheads have got me looking at – r/RugsOnly.
As is tradition with Reddit, if you can’t immediately figure out what the subreddit is for, then it’s weird porn. r/RugsOnly is no exception.
What Is r/RugsOnly?
r/RugsOnly is the ultimate 70s porn throwback. OK, maybe not completely – there’s no funky light jazz soundtrack to two incredibly hairy people fucking – but it is all about the hair. Specifically, lady rugs.
With that in mind, you’re going to see plenty of unshaven lady havens. Like a lot. Some of them give motherfucking Chewbacca a run for their money in terms of length and hair density. Cousin It is jealous of their volume. Bitches are fucking hairy, is what I’m saying.
Design Of The Subreddit
As subreddits go (and I know there’s enough of you fedora-tipping militant atheist shithead Redditors reading this that know how subreddits go), r/RugsOnly really is as barebones as it gets.
Like they don’t even have a background or a custom banner. At least throw a pic of Linda Lovelace or something up there, know what I mean?
The subreddit is, naturally, an NSFW one (unless you work somewhere where staring at hairy snatch is totally fine, like me) but it’s not karma- or account-locked so you can browse anonymously or with a throwaway.
There are a bunch of flairs on hand for you to look at the particular brand of hairy axe wound that you’re into.
Like ginger pubes? r/RugsOnly has got you, fam. More of a goth pussy enthusiast? There are plenty (who knew goth chicks were so into being hairy as fuck?).
There are a mere five flairs for the subreddit:
- Rug On Rug. You’d expect this to be a couple of hirsute chicks scissoring each other’s timbers, but all the ones I saw were just a single solitary pube kebab.
- Woo! Got no fucking idea what this one means, if I’m being honest with you.
- Goth Pussy. I think this one pretty much explains itself.
- The Biggest Rug You’ve Ever Seen! Quite often inaccurately used, but sometimes… holy shit. I saw one chick whose pubes continued all the way through her ass crack and halfway up her back. Bitch looked like a silverback gorilla.
- Big And Beautiful Rug: not sure what distinguishes this from The Biggest Rug You’ve Ever Seen, but maybe I’m missing some of the nuances of uber-pubed cunts.
- Ginger Rug: don’t think this one needs much elaboration, really. Imagine if Carrot Top was a vagina (I know, doesn’t require much imagination).
All in all, though, it’s a disappointing showing from the subreddit in terms of design. 2/7 try harder next time, r/RugsOnly – and police your flairs a little more if you ever expect anyone to take you seriously.
Content Of The Subreddit
Spoiler alert, boys and girls: r/RugsOnly is pretty much wall-to-wall pube-addled snatch. If that’s not your thing, then you’re gonna wanna get yourself over to something a little more conventional like r/Sounding. (Do not go to r/Sounding.)
However, despite having a good chunk of mods, a lot of the content on the Subreddit isn’t of hairy vag.
I saw a lot of chicks who, while pretty hot, could not really be described as having particularly hairy pussies. Some of them had definitely trimmed, in fact, thereby definitely not meeting the subreddit description.
That said – there is, in fairness, a pretty good amount of furry twat (not that kind of furry, you fucking deviant) on display.
It’s pretty much all user-generated content, which is nice to see in an age of soullessly reproduced and memified porn.
These girls who are sharing their twats are active users on the sub, and might even interact with you if you don’t post dumb shit like “I’d like to chow down on that hairy slit sweetheart mmmmmffffff *obvious over-the-pants wanking intensifies*”.
Now not many of these girls are showing off their uncanny valleys out of the kindness of their hearts, boys. They’re offering tasters to get you hooked.
There are a lot of links to OnlyFans accounts and such where the girls in question promise you lots of premium content if you sign up.
This is fine, of course; hot chicks don’t just hang out porn subreddits because they like deviants like you. The truth hurts, sweetheart, suck it up and sign up for her OnlyFans already.
That said, you can expect lots of pics and gifs on r/RugsOnly, but not much in the way of full-on action. That’s the price you pay for using a subreddit instead of a full-on porn site.
What I Like About r/RugsOnly
I’m not really a fella who likes having to floss after I’ve gone down on a chick, but there are plenty of weirdos out there and I don’t like to judge.
You can’t really argue with the fact that r/RugsOnly accomplishes its mission statement and shows a lot of hairy snatch without you having to spend a penny.
There’s a good variety of girls on the sub, and lots of pics and GIFs of some of the hairiest pussies outside of the 70s, so you can’t really argue with the volume of content.
On top of that, it does seem a genuinely good way to actually chat to content creators directly.
Like I said, most of the content (if not all) is user generated, and these girls have an active interest in courting their audience, so niche subreddits like r/RugsOnly are a great way to actually talk to girls you wanna fuck without breaking that restraining order.
What I Don’t Like About r/RugsOnly
I gotta be honest here: it’s a very lazy subreddit, with not much to make it stand out from the herd. I get that hairy rug enthusiasts are gonna sub regardless, but you can’t throw a fucking banner and background up, mods?
That shit takes five minutes tops, and really helps a subreddit stand out. There’s no excuse other than pure laziness.
On top of that, the (very limited pool of) five flairs are just applied randomly, and rarely correspond to the content.
What’s the point of having a flair for the biggest rug you’ve ever seen and it just turns out to be a landing strip or whatever?
I’m calling you out on this, r/RugsOnly mods. It ain’t pretty, but someone’s gotta do it. Get your fucking house in order or you’re never gonna hit the heady heights of r/All.
Suggestions I Have For r/RugsOnly
I believe I’ve covered this one at length (like some of the walking carpets you’ll see on r/RugsOnly) but sort the subreddit out.
Get some images up, make sure people are using flairs properly, and maybe encourage a little more interaction between the girls and their simps.
Like you’ve got shit like some dude saying, “mmmm nice hairy snatch” and OP saying, “thanks ☺” back, but how about throwing an AMA in there?
I bet there’s loads of shit these perverts wanna ask the girls, like do they condition their pubes or does beard oil work on hairy ass cracks or whatever.
As it stands, the subreddit is just a place for hairy chicks to advertise their wares. If they made it a little more of a community, it would still do that but also encourage more activity from both the chicks and their simps.
This isn’t rocket science, so get it fucking done.
Conclusion
r/RugsOnly is very much a niche subreddit – and that is all it needs to be – but it does what it sets out to do and puts some truly hirsute genitals on display without charging users a penny.
Again, you’re not going to be getting full-length HD porn with professional production values, but that’s not what it’s about.
It’s a chance for perverts to interact with the girls they jerk off to, and you can’t put a price on that. (You can. That’s literally what the girls do.)
There’s definitely scope to work on that and make this more of a community than it is. Dudes love a chance to talk with the chicks putting these photos and videos out, and the mods should be trying to encourage those interactions (as should the girls, to drive up those sub numbers).
Pros:
- Hairy snatch
- Hirsute cunt
- User-generated content
- Barbershop-floor pussy
- Interaction between fans and girls
- Furry flaps
Cons:
- No thought at all put into subreddit theme
- Flairs are meaningless
- Short GIFs and pics only
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