Have you ever left a grotty apartment with your dick still smelling of hooker snatch and thought, “fuck, I should have just saved my money and jerked off at home”? Whilst avoiding eye contact with everyone on the street for fear that they somehow know you’ve just spent $100 for a pump and dump into a disinterested Romanian whore?
Or, have you ever pulled your cock out of an escort’s sloppy asshole as she moaned in faux ecstasy and said out loud, “damn! I need to tell all of my internet friends about this shit!”
Whether you’ve got a kick-ass appraisal of your favourite sex worker or a scathing review of a cheap street whore who gave you the worst sexual experience of your life (not the herpes girl, the other one), an escort review site is a place to post them and share your stories with others.
When it comes to escort review sites, few are more notorious than the British site called UK Punting. Because if there’s one thing the Brits do well, it’s being controversial about sex.
What is UK Punting?
Whore, sex worker, stewed strumpet, cockatrice, buttered buns, whatever you choose to call them, prostitution is the oldest profession in the world, and there are millions of sex workers worldwide.
But not all of them are created equally, and plenty will rip you off. Others won’t give you what was promised, and others will starfish and lie there like laced mutton until you cum awkwardly.
That’s where escort review sites like UK Punting come in. The goal is to guide you through the proverbial minefield of trickster tarts and lead you to the certified nymphomaniac escorts who actually love their job.
You may remember that I mentioned UK Punting has a reputation, especially in the UK. The thing about UK Punting is that the main reason behind its controversy is a gaggle of bored mums who hate the site and won’t shut up about it.
UK Punting became the topic of hot debate in the Mumsnet forums when these entitled women discovered that, shock horror, men like to pay women for sex and then talk to their like-minded mates about it online afterwards.
So yeah, UK Punting is a forum where guys get together to drop tips, advice and, most importantly, reviews of their favourite hookers, whores, escorts, massage parlors, and every form of paid sex in between.
Basically, if you’re eyeing up a sexy escort you’d be happy to pay to fuck, you can do a little bit of research on UK Punting beforehand to find out what she’s actually like in bed, whether she’s worth the money, whether or not she’ll let you do
Design of This Escort Review Site
The site is designed like an old-school forum. Compared to modern forums like Reddit, you don’t get anywhere near the same sleek features and functionality offered.
Then again, you also don’t have to tolerate neckbeard admins who are happy to shadow-ban you for mentioning that you paid two Hungarian escorts to do the Screwnicorn in your Budapest hotel room.
The site has a decent search feature that lets you trawl back through forums packed with dirty chatter between escort enthusiasts discussing their paid sex adventures. And that’s what this site is really all about!
The site is neatly divided into sections such as escort, transsexual, and erotic reviews. You also have regional escort reviews, so you can find out if that Thai MILF in Essex really does take it up the ass or if that Dominatrix in Glasgow will have you crying for your mommy in the first five minutes.
The Escort Reviews on UK Punting
The content on UK Punting is a wild blend of tips, tricks, feedback, and true stories from a thriving community of men passionate about one of the most family-friendly hobbies: Spending your life savings to crawl between the smooth thighs of whores.
Even topics which have been inactive for years are still often packed with useful information. Say, for example, you’re mongering on the streets of a red-light district and see a neon-illuminated sex club that looks enticing.
Is it a rip-off joint or a world of sexual pleasure? You’ll likely find the answer from a user on UK Punting who has already been and shared his experience.
Even if you want to get more specific and are eyeing the pussy of a particular online escort who has welcomed quite a few men between her legs, there’s a big chance that there’s a horny bastard or two on UK Punting who has blown his beans up her and is keen to share his experience.
The level of detail in the reviews and sex stories is insane. It’s fuckin’ hilarious to know that a bunch of middle-aged Karens from sites like Mumsnet were trawling this site and reading the explicit escort reviews in sheer anger.
They must have been sitting at their dated laptop in a state of shock as they read how Darren from Sunderland, better known as GirthyDaz69, gave his local MILF escort a 9/10 because she had no qualms about getting creampied up the ass twice. “However, the parking situation at her house left a lot to be desired.”
If you’re a horny but fresh-faced newbie in the world of paid sex, sites like UK Punting can provide some invaluable advice. Whether you want to know the difference between a Porn Star Experience (PSE) and a Girlfriend Experience (GFE) or need clarification on why to avoid the bareback escort who travels the UK to fuck her clients in the back of a van (really?), UK Punting has likely got your horny back.
The UK Punting site isn’t at the cutting edge of the online escort review industry when it comes to site design, but it does what it’s designed to do. This site is mainly for reading, not for browsing escort porn and stuff. You can find that elsewhere.
It might look a little dated, but this site is active as fuck. The stats show more than 3,000,000 Posts across over 250,000 escort-related topics. That, my friends, is a lot of filthy chat!
The mobile browsing experience is better than the desktop. It was fun to casually read how AsianSlayerDave finally achieved his life goal of carrying out the San Francisco Bird Feeder with a Thai escort in Luton for the bargain price of £30 on my phone rather than panning across my desktop monitor.
What I Like About This UK Escort Site
For those who love banging hookers and reviewing it afterwards, a few sites cater to this enviable lifestyle. But few are as old school, fun or reliable as UK Punting.
Plus, there’s just so much obscure shit on here for stuff I often find myself looking for. Like, what’s the food buffet like at a Berlin mega brothel? FelchingFrankie78 has written a foodie blog-style review.
It’s 2022; trans lives matter, and their lubed-up assholes certainly do too. It’s no secret that more of us are dipping our dicks in the purple fountain of shemale sex and often paying for the privilege.
UK Punting recognizes this and has created a dedicated transsexual escort review section for those who like a little extra meat on the table when meeting an escort.
Oh, and it might have the UK in the name, but it extends to sex scenes abroad too. In their “Punting Abroad” section, you can find trip reports from guys who went brothel-hopping across Germany, tips for your first trip to Amsterdam’s Red Light district, and how to avoid getting your asshole rearranged by a ladyboy in Thailand.
What I Didn’t Like About UK Punting
One of my main gripes about UK Punting is the occasional redirects to affiliate sites when I want to click on something. When I really wanna read part II of a punter’s wild story of fucking a £12 street hooker in Blackpool and find out if his dick finally fell off, I don’t wanna be forcibly redirected to some fucking hookup site.
Plus, there’s the signup process. Joining this site for the first time felt like betting a background check from the CIA. It took forever, and some have reported signups being closed to new members.
My Suggestions For The Site
My suggestions for UK Punting would be to leave the choice of clicking affiliate links down to the visitors and not forcibly redirect them.
They should also loosen their signup process a little too. I get they’ve caught some flack with middle-aged women who feel entitled because they’ve let somebody creampie them, but they need to let their guard down a little to new members.
UK Punting can be the difference between an escort experience that resembles a Victorian brothel (with syphilis included) or a paid fuck with a hooker who makes sure both of you squirt in an intense sex session.
Fuck the sexually repressed naysayers who are waging an online war against the site because UK Punting is a solid community of kind-hearted men who just want to do the right thing in life; if the right thing was ensuring the harlots of the world get the immense fucking they deserve, and get paid for it.
|Lots of solid advice for escorts, whores, and erotic massages||Occasionally forced redirects to third-party sites|
|Easy to find the stuff you’re looking for||Sign up process can be annoying|
|Loads of extremely detailed trip reports and feedback on hookers|