Fellas, is it gay to put things up your butt while watching porn? More the point, does it even matter if it is or it isn’t? Doesn’t matter if you’re gay, straight, bi, pansexual, demisexual, or even a furry – putting stuff up your butt feels good.
That goes for unprostated persons, as well – and we’ll get to that. But if you are indeed the proud owner of a prostate, you’re doing yourself a disservice by not putting stuff up your butt. Put more stuff up your butt, is what I’m saying.
Now there’s plenty of stuff that you can shove in your ass. Some of it is ill-advised (coke bottles), some of it is merely fine (toy lightsabers), and some of it – well, some of it is just great.
It’s to this latter that we turn our attention to today. Specifically, the very best butt plugs that modern technology has to offer us. It turns out there are many ways that you can make shoving things up your ass even better.
Hold onto your hats, ladies and gents. Let’s investigate the down-n-dirty world of premium butt play.
Bud Love
The nattily-named Bud Love is a curved metal gem butt plug that’s great for beginners and veteran butthole surfers alike. Described – wonderfully – as an “anal secret agent”, the Bud Love is touted as “priming your butt” for bigger and better things down the line. I’ll leave what those bigger and better things might be as an exercise for you.
The Bud Love’s shape – a bulbous “bud” at the top and a slender stem – makes it perfect for both getting that sphincter used to you shoving stuff up it and stimulating your prostate gland for super awesome orgasms. It’s almost made of a temperature-reactive metal, which means you can heat the plug up or cool it down for a spot of temperature play.
That same metal finish makes it super easy to clean off as well. All in all, this is a perfect toy to get you started on your anal adventures.
The Bryan
Ever want to be anally drilled by someone called Bryan? Well, now you can, without having to worry about all of the inevitable questions raised by getting anally drilled by an actual person called Bryan.
The Bryan is a beast of a butt plug. It features a small head but a gradually widening shaft, making it perfect for experimentation with exactly how much butt plug you can fit in your ass before things get weird. The entire surface is covered with tiny bumps, too, making for a textured sensation when you’ve got Bryan deep up in there.
But wait – it gets even better. The Bryan vibrates and has a remote control, making it great not only for solo play but for games with your partner too. Get the Bryan in your ass and hand over that remote control – see the heights of ecstasy to which your partner can take you with but a few button presses.
The Iza
Now we’re getting into truly premium butt-plug territory. The Iza is a vibrating butt plug/cockring combo, ensuring that things get hot and heavy for both ass and penis when you bring it out.
The Iza starts things off slow and simple with a small tapered point for effortless insertion. If you can handle a little more, the Iza takes things deeper with a rounded, textured ball that will titillate and tantalize the walls of your butt.
The Iza is also vibrating, making for a much more intense anal experience than you might have with a more mundane butt plug. What’s more, it has an attached cock and scrotum ring, allowing you to mount a three-front offensive on your erogenous zones. You’ve simply never pleasured yourself like you will with the Iza.
Long Fox Tail Butt Plug
One for the ladies, gents and furries out there, the Long Fox Tail Butt Plug combines the very best of anal self-pleasure with pretending to be a small opportunistic vulpine trash doggie.
The butt plug itself is a pretty standard design, with a tapering point that gradually widens for a veritable cornucopia of rectal revelry. It features a metal disc at the base of the tail portion, ensuring that you don’t get carried away and lose a whole fox tail up your ass.
The Habiki
The somewhat scarily-nicknamed “anal excavator” that is the Habiki is a hollowed anal vibrator and prostate massager. It’s marketed as the perfect way to get your ass ready for action before anal play, but it functions just as well as a complement to your frenzied vinegar strokes while watching anthropomorphic fox-spirit porn.
It’s easy to insert but deceptively powerful, with nine vibration modes to blast non-stop waves of pleasure up your asshole. Its unique hollowed design also increases friction once it’s in, ensuring that you’ll have a night of pleasure that’ll never end once the Habiki’s in position. One that’s better for veterans but not without its merits for newcomers.
The Agas
Vibrating butt plugs are all well and good, but what about thrusting butt plugs? That, my friends, is where the Agas comes in.
This modern marvel of rectal recreation is like no other butt plug you’ve ever tried. With variable speeds and a max speed of 600 thrusts per minute, your prostate will be left reeling from the incessantly hedonistic pummeling it receives.
It also has 7 different thrusting patterns, so you can mix things up a little and keep your asshole guessing what’s coming next.
Definitely one for veterans of the Butthole Wars; it’s well worth, however, starting off with something more manageable and returning to this feared anal destroyer when you’re ready.
Conclusion
Whatever your requirements in a butt plug, we hope that we’ve demonstrated that there’s a wide, wide world of anal accessories out there for any and every purpose. It’s just a matter of determining your capacity and skill level before breaking out the right butt plug for you. Happy plugging!
